Yikes, I did it again. Also, I have been fairly busy. Though that's really just an excuse. I always have time to at least post a few sentences. But time just gets away from me.
A lot has happened.
I've taken a few trips which I'll want to blog about soon. I'm in a play. The Christmas Carol. It's NOT a musical version...ugh. But it should still be fun.
I'm not feeling particularly philisophical today. and I spelled "philosophical" wrong.
One of the trips I went to was a Christian Men's Conference. I'll blog more about it later but I wanted to mention it to bring up that it's had me thinking on a few things and reflecting and whatnot. I'm getting to dependent on what people think of me. I feel like I care too much about other people's opinion of me and why they will or won't hang out with me or ask for my help or accept my comforting them. I feel like I'm being too selfish and making it about me. Like i'm putting the focus on people and status instead of on God. But then, didn't God make me to care about others? I'm not always great at it but didn't God give me the ability to have empathy for others, to care about others? And doesn't that include what other people think? I also have this desire to resolve conflict. That's gotta be from God. And i feel that people thinking ill of me or thinking i'm annoying or whatever my self conscious...self...thinks up is a conflict in a way and I want to solve it. But I might be applying this desire of mine that God gave me in the wrong way. Am I being selfish with a Gift? I don't know. But I want to be there for others and help people and I know SO MANY people really do like me a lot. I know this. But for some reason I get tripped up. I read into things. I wonder what people are thinking. Maybe God will help me to hone that in time. To understand how that works and to use it to Glorify Him and not me.
Goodnight.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
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