Communicating...easier said that done.

Get it?

It seems like a simple thing.  Tell someone how you fell, what you're thinking, why you disagree, why you think they're amazing, etc.

And it should be, but it isn't. Emotions get in the way: "I hope I don't offend them, I wonder what they'll do if I say something, will in ruin our friendship, etc.

Should I have called this post "etc."?

But actually it is easy.  We just get scared or second guess ourselves. Sometimes we think we're being a burden and don't want to put too much pressure on the other person. And sometimes we think "why bother? they wouldn't listen to me anyway..."

But things are better when we communicate. Yes, we might lose people but if they didn't understand, then what was your friendship based on? If they can't stay friends with you after you say what's on your mind then maybe they really didn't truly value your opinion in the first place.

Advice I'm sure I need to take.

And if they can't stay after you unload, maybe they shouldn't be in your life.  We need people in our lives that can handle us, that love us for who we are but also help us to change in the good ways rather than "try to change us."

We really do need to communicate more. All of us. All the time. Even if that we communicate that we don't want to talk about something right now.  Or that we do but we don't know how to say what we want to say.  Or if we are afraid of hurting someone's feelings, that we say that to them as well.  Give them the footnotes to what you want to say.  It's something and it shows that you do care and
that you want to have a communicative relationship. Even if, again, you just need to communicate to say that you don't feel like talking but that it doesn't mean you want to be alone.

Just something that's been on my mind.

Merry Christmas

I'm sorry

To all the friends who's relationships I've let go by the way side, I'm sorry. I know that doesn't cover it. But nothing ever can.

As we go into this new year, I'm not going to promise or resolve that I'll be better because I don't know that so will. But I will say that I never meant for it to be this way.

I'm alway here, I'm always ready to listen. I might not be there at that second but shoot me a text or email or Facebook message or give me a call and leave me a voice message if I don't pick up. I am pretty busy these days but not to busy for you. Never too busy.

Merry Christmas

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I'm sorry that it has been a long while since last I wrote.  I guess this doesn't have to be so regular, just like a vlog doesn't have to be regular.  Sometimes people expect it to be and it really doesn't have to be.  Less pressure.

What are we thankful for this holiday season? I know even though it is a time of gladness and joy throughout the holidays, there is plenty of room for ungratefulness.  Terrible drivers made worse with adverse driving conditions. Impatient customers doing there holiday shopping. And so much more. There's a lot to be unthankful for.  But as I critique the faults of others in the rush of the season, it is out of an awareness of my own faults. I can and have been impatient on the road.  Or argue with my family when we're trying to spend time together.

Sin enters into the picture. Short fuses. Just one of many things that trip us up while we're trying to be "good". The sermon last Sunday touched on that point. To paraphrase, we can be "good" all we want but it should be out of a love for others, not out of a desire to "be good". Christ, who was and is good, who didn't sin died in our place.

So what am I thankful for this holiday season? That God takes me back even though I don't deserve it. Even though I deserve the death that Jesus died, through that, God sees us as good.

There was more  I wanted to say but my mind likes to travel and tangent.

Wherever you are and whatever you believe, let's all be thankful for each other.  Let us not be quick to anger.

Your's In Writing

Advice From The Professional On Marriage

I was at a wedding reception this past spring and one of the many things the couple had for us to do was take a sheet of fancy patterned paper titled "Advice from the professional on marriage" with these prompts on them followed by an ellipses (ex: "Always remember to...") and fill out what we thought would be good or what came to mind etc.

This is what I wrote down: Advice from the professional on marriage. 

Always remember to...hold hands. 

 Always tell your spouse...the truth. 

 Never forget to...Kiss: hello, goodbye, good morning and good night. 

 Never let...a day go by without saying I love you. 

 Always admit...when you're wrong. 

 Learn to love...the little things. 

 Love your parent, even when...you disagree with them. 

 May the both of you always...Keep God at the center. 

 My best advice for a lasting marriage is...Forgive each other as God forgave us. We are unconditionally loved.

When To Trust

As a christian, I both hear from others and say myself that all we need is God. And this is 100% true.  And where there are things that take us away from that, we are to realize that we don't need them that much. This is on a general level. Like if we don't have time in the day to read the Bible or something.  But if we're putting God as the foundation for everything we do that day, then we have time enough for God.

What I wanted to talk about (since I'm on a time crunch) is that sometimes we have desires and worries that get in the way of our time with God. We just need to remember that God has it all under control.  That doesn't mean that we just sit back and let life happen. That's not how it works. Not by a mile. But it DOES mean that as we live our life, what happens in our life is meant for us to learn grow from.  As long as we are keeping God as the foundation.  But what if our thoughts are out of that founded trust in God everyday. What if we have a thought or desire that no matter how much we say, "No God, I'm not going to worry or spend my time thinking about that, I know you've got it taken care of, the thought is persistent. It could be meant to distract us still. It could be a test of our faith. Just how strong is it and will we trust in God, even if we are emotionally beat with that desire or worry.

But what if that thought is from God. When we trust in God and put him at the foundation of our lives, and that though is still there, what if he's giving us that desire to strive towards. What if that desire is meant for us because he wants us to want that. What if that desire comes to fruition. Anywhere from the financially unwise and persistent desire for a motorcycle that birthed a ministry called Zero Gravity. What if it's for a job that doesn't make any sense. That people tell you won't work, but you just can't shake it.  But what if it's for a mate or thing or an event or an idea. These desires and concerns could map out the rest of your life.

We just have to ask ourselves if God is foundation. And pray a lot.  And trust God, that no matter what our desires are, he has a future in mind and knows the end result. And if we're trusting in God, that result is better than anything we could ever imagine. I know I'm looking forward to what he has in store for me.

Your's In Writing

The Song Of My Heart

I went for a much needed walk today. They're always needed. Some days more than others. But this was much needed. There's this particular song I like listening to. I identify with it for reasons I don't need to go into. I put the song on repeat, inserted the headphone buds into my hears and headed out.

Music is magical if you believe in that sort of thing. Or miraculous. Science would say it's psychological. In any case, it can invoke feelings in us that can be mood altering. Some people will try to say that a song is just a song. But I know better than that. Every song is a piece of someone or something. It's poetry. Music is expressive. Even those artists that sing other people's songs. Someone wrote that song, poured there heart and soul into that song. Yes there are lighthearted songs that maybe aren't that "deep" but even those are someone's thoughts, which are a part of them. So, every song is a piece of someone. And sometimes, that piece of someone connects or resonates with someone else.

That's what this song does with me. I listened to it on repeat as I walked around my neighborhood.  I let it soak in to my mind, to my soul. I stepped with the beat. The crash of the symbols, the dancing of the piano keys.  I knew people could see me as I moved wildly to the beat of a song they couldn't hear (but isn't life like that anyway?) but I didn't care. I arrived at my old elementary school and laid down in a piece of the playground equipment. I let the song finish one more time and then I stopped the music.
And then I read scripture.  The iPod has been wonderful for that. In places I normally wouldn't carry a Bible or have music to listen to or all these different things, it's all in one. So I read. Nothing in particular. Just whatever the suggested reading in the plan thing the app comes with.

The walk was much needed because I wasn't feeling quite wonderful. Well, okay, who ever does? But I was feeling particularly less not quite wonderful and was in need of some fresh air and solitude. But it turned out I needed that scripture even more. While the song made me feel "good" due to the lyrics or the beat or whatever, the scriptures made me feel better. There's just nothing like absorbing God's word. I listened to Christian music on the way back. It was remarkable what a stark difference I felt on this second half of my outing. Like two different versions of me.

It's all a reminder that God is what's most important in the end. Not people or things. Or expectations or dreams. These aren't bad by any means. They are often God given and should be cherished. But not depended upon. That burden is for God alone to to bare. And it's really not a burden for him.  He created us in need of him. That's the whole point.

We are imperfect and need the Savior to realign our hearts.

And to write the song of our hearts.

Your's In Writing

Don't You Dare

Every life is important from beginning to end. From conception to death. Every second of every day. Every life is precious. Don't you dare try to tell me any different. There is no such thing as not important or insignificant. Have you ever thought people would be better off without you? STOP IT. That's not for you to decide.  If you have that thought than just focus on yourself for a while. Spend some time with people you know will change your mind or just spend some alone time.  Whatever it is you need to get out of that mindset.  Find that thing that pulls you back.  God, family, a best friend.  For me it's all three, but in that order.

You are special. You are unique. You may share similarities with other people but there is only one person that is you.

Doctor Suess really said it best:

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

Don't rob the world of that.

Your's In Writing